Rudy Runs "Right"

I still don't think he has the proverbial snowball's chance in hell, but this is a pretty good move given how easily the masses can be moved by platitudes. Of course, I'm less than impressed. In italics are Rudy's "commitments" to America; the rest comes from me:

I will keep America on offense in the Terrorists' War on Us.
Seeing how our "offense" is one of the reasons the Terrorists are warring with us, this seems nonsensical. It is also immensely impractical, as our little excursion in Iraq is now demonstrating.

I will end illegal immigration, secure our borders, and identify every non-citizen in our nation.
Great. I don't believe him for one bit, but at least he is smart enough to know that it's going to be easier to sell refrigerators to Eskimos than amnesty to the American people. Of course, he doesn't say what he's going to do when he identifies the non-citizens in our nation, which means he's not for deporting, which means he's for amnesty. Only he doesn't actually say this.

I will restore fiscal discipline and cut wasteful Washington spending.
All while fighting the War on Terror. A libertarian like Paul has a chance to come through on this promise; he does want to eliminate whole departments after all, and he possesses a record which hints that he might actually attempt to do so, though whether Congress plays along is another story. Giuliani, on the other hand, will continue to allow the federal government to grow, just like all his predecessors. In this respect this makes him like Reagan, who causes the base to froth insensibly at the mouth.

I will cut taxes and reform the tax code.
Tax cuts are generally useless when not accompanied by spending restraint. See above. The tax code is too complicated to be reformed; it needs to be scrapped altogether. Think of it, if you will, as a monstrous legacy system. Sure, the structure once made sense, but it's been rigged with careless fixes so many times it no longer stands up to reason's even stare. At some point, it's better to construct an entirely new system. (If that didn't make sense, just forget about it.)

I will impose accountability on Washington.
How? Seriously, I want to know. Is he going to do away with universal suffrage? Washington is, ostensibly, accountable to the people. But if the people aren't all stupid, they most times give the appearance thereof. The only way to hold Washington accountable is to avoid voting in frauds, and replacing the cowards once they've demonstrated that they can't be trusted. No matter who becomes President, we're still dependent on the people to perform their duty.

I will lead America towards energy independence.
By drilling in ANWR and building more nuclear power plants? Doubtful. This is a bone for the environmentalist types. I'm not all that happy about having to trade with Saudi Arabia for oil, but considering the egregious human rights record of China, I have more problems with trading with them. For all the talk of how Islam treats women poorly, it's not as if they have a one-child policy. Then again, since this country also murders its young, we might be left in the paradoxical position of being unable to trade with ourselves.

I will give Americans more control over and access to healthcare with affordable and portable free-market solutions.

I really hope he's going for complete deregulation here, but I sincerely doubt it. Still, it's a nice play to the base, most of whom couldn't identify a free-market from a plutocratic hybrid, but do seem to believe they like the former quite a bit. After all, Reagan did as well.

I will increase adoptions, decrease abortions, and protect the quality of life for our children.
Again, how? It's worth noting that many of these points cannot be accomplished without either 1) coincidence or 2) coercion. If we're not decreasing legal abortions to zero, and prosecuting those who take part in murder, I don't even want to talk about it. I've said this before, but it's worth mentioning again. Either abortion is murder, in which case it should be eliminated completely; or it's a mere trifle, in which case we shouldn't talk about it at all; or we're not sure, in which case we can't just kill the questionable entity. Taking the middle road on a black and white issue is a sure sign of cowardice. I hope the base isn't buying.

I will reform the legal system and appoint strict constructionist judges.
Seeing how the War on Terror is inimical to the principles delineated in the Constitution, this is an absurd claim. If he supports secret courts and wire tapping, he doesn't care about the Constitution, which means he isn't going to nominate strict constructionists. End of story.

I will ensure that every community in America is prepared for terrorist attacks and natural disasters.
Impossible and impossible, not to mention that this isn't the role of the federal government. Seriously, how vain are we as a county that we believe we are above nature, and that we can possibly be free from harm? Between the right-wing nuts who think the Islamo-fascists--no such thing, by the way--will destroy civilization--as if the death of three thousand Americans is even a drop in that bucket--and the left-wing nuts who think we're going to destroy the planet by warming her up--as if doing so would harm anyone but ourselves--I think the whole country has gone mad. We will never, ever, be safe. Either be afraid of something, anything, for the rest of your life, or grow up and stop cowering over what is inevitable anyway. Let me ruin the ending for you: you're going to die. Stop pretending otherwise.

I will provide access to a quality education to every child in America by giving real school choice to parents.
Does this mean he is going to burn down all the schools? Now there's a press conference I'd enjoy, and might actually watch. Less drastically, he could simply eliminate the Department of Education, which Paul has proposed to do, and Giuliani won't. The schools cannot be reformed, and while school choice is a good idea--at a state level, not a federal one--homeschooling is the best viable alternative. That it is impractical for some does not dismiss its place as the ideal, leaps and bounds ahead of the accepted norm, the barbarous public schools.

I will expand America's involvement in the global economy and strengthen our reputation around the world.
Whereas the fulfillment of the first is in direct opposition to the second, this promise cannot be fulfilled. In areas of the world wherein we have no presence, cultural or militarily speaking primarily, the people give us little thought, ill or otherwise. In areas wherein we have presence, we are generally looked down upon as bullies, and promulgators of immorality--though in Europe and Japan the latter is not true. The best way to endear people of the world to us is to retract from a globalist foreign policy, which Ron Paul, alone amongst the Republican presidential candidates, promises to do.

As you can tell, I love Rudy. I can't wait to hear how we need to elect him so that we don't have to suffer through Hillary's reign. If Rudy is the best Republicans can do, to paraphrase Bush, bring her on!